Are We Raising Helpless Kids? The Hidden Causes Behind Declining Student Independence | By: Deshna Khulbe

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Teachers around the world are raising concerns about students’ ability to understand basic Math and English concepts, as well as their lack of independence. In a BuzzFeed Article collecting educators’ experiences, teachers describe their students struggling with basic reading comprehension, and their inability to complete assignments without constant support. Some educators even report students becoming overwhelmed when faced with challenging work, and emphasize their decreasing attention spans. While these stories are only individual experiences, they raise an important question for parents: Are students truly becoming less resilient, or are significant changes in parenting, education, and technology influence how children learn? 

One possible explanation is learned helplessness, an emerging psychological concern in which individuals begin to believe they are incapable of overcoming challenges after repeatedly relying on outside help or feeling that their efforts do not matter. In children, learned helplessness may appear as giving up on assignments before trying, saying “I can’t do it,” or waiting for an adult to solve even simple problems. At home, it can look like children needing constant instructions for everyday tasks or becoming extremely frustrated by little things. The concept of learned helplessness was first introduced by psychologists Martin Seligman and Steven Maier in the late 1960s after experiments showed that dogs exposed to unavoidable electric shocks eventually stopped trying to escape, even when escape later became possible. Researchers later applied this theory to humans, linking it to motivation, learning, and mental health.

Researchers suggest that several factors may contribute to learned helplessness among today's children, including overparenting, increased screen time, reliance on artificial intelligence (AI), and disruptions caused by the COVID-19 pandemic. Naturally, parents want to protect their children from frustration, but solving every problem for them can unintentionally reduce opportunities to build confidence, resilience, and independence. At the same time, fast digital feedback and the growing use of artificial intelligence can encourage students to seek immediate answers instead of working through difficult problems by themselves. Remote learning and school disruptions during the pandemic also interrupted important years of academic, social, and emotional development of the younger kids. Combined with constant digital stimulation replacing hands-on exploration and independent play, these factors may make children less willing to take risks, persist through challenges, and think creatively.

Parents can help prevent learned helplessness by encouraging small successes, praising effort rather than perfection, and allowing children to experience safe failures. Breaking large assignments into smaller steps helps children build confidence and courage through achievable goals. Likewise, allowing children to solve age-appropriate problems on their own teaches them that mistakes are a normal part of learning. Limiting unnecessary screen time and encouraging offline activities that require patience, creativity, and problem-solving can also strengthen resilience. Although it may seem easier to step in and solve problems for children, lasting confidence develops when they discover they are capable of overcoming challenges on their own.

The concerns raised by teachers around the world reveal a larger challenge, but by allowing children to struggle and solve problems independently, parents can help create a generation of more confident and resilient learners.

Citations

Cherry, Kendra. “What Is Learned Helplessness and Why Does It Happen?” Verywell Mind, Verywellmind, 11 Apr. 2023, 

https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-learned-helplessness-2795326. Accessed 29 July 2026.

“Gen Alpha: Anxiety and Depression Surge in Children.” Kidsvillepeds.Com, 2025, https://www.kidsvillepeds.com/blog/1349029-why-gen-alpha-faces-a-surge-in-anxiety-and-depression/. Accessed 29 July 2026.

“How to Counteract Learned Helplessness | Minnesota Neuropsychology.” Minnesota Neuropsychology, 18 Feb. 2025, https://www.mnneuropsychology.com/articles/learned-helplessness/. Accessed 29 July 2026.

Leonard, Jayne. “Learned Helplessness: Examples, Symptoms, and Treatment.” Www.Medicalnewstoday.Com, 31 May 2019, https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/325355. Accessed 29 July 2026.

Psychology Today. “Learned Helplessness | Psychology Today.” Psychology Today, 2019, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/learned-helplessness. Accessed 29 July 2026.